择己所爱爱己所择

老是回忆曾经的曾经

不仅委屈自己 , 也伤害了那些用心对你的人...


她伸出左手，仔细端详着载在无名指上的钻戒，

一行清泪不争气的滑落下来。

「为什么？他怎么可以这样对待我？」


那一天，她一如往日的在6:00下班前将当日的工作准时完成，

起身将桌上喝剩的咖啡拿去洗手间倒掉,

一个转身不小心撞到刚来送公文，

半杯咖啡就这么溅在他的衬衫上，

当然引起一阵慌乱的清理跟不断的倒歉，

他们也就这样认识了。

开始，她下班的时间从6:00延至6:30到7:00，

而他下班打卡时间也从6:00延至6:30到7:00，


下班后就相约一起去吃晚餐，慢慢的对彼此就有更深的认识及了解。

她欣赏他的成熟稳重、他喜欢她的冰雪聪明。

三个月后，他们开始正式交往。


她的朋友警告她说他之前花名在外，要她小心一点。

可是她觉得现代人谁没有过去、谁没有谈过好几场的恋爱？


为了爱他，她可以不计较他的过去，只要他是真心爱她就够了。

和她在一起后，他也真的没再传出什么绯闻，

只是有时候周末她要找他的时候，

call他手机会直接进语音信箱找不到他的人，

问他为什么关机，他说有时候想一个人静一静 , 不想接电话。


她不想让他觉得她是一个依赖性、占有欲很强的女人，

所以她尊重他的自由、给他想要的空间，

在他有事无法陪她的时候 , 一个人去逛逛诚品消磨时间。

这样的日子其实也没有什么不好，

她反而认为这样淡淡的稳定的交往才能够细水长流，

他尊重她的独立也体贴她偶尔的任性，

他们分享彼此的亲蜜，也拥有各自的空间，

她实在想不出 , 如果放弃他，她还会不会找到一个比他更好的男人？

她的死党们开始羡慕她，说她命好，找到一个好男人，可以准备嫁了。
她笑笑，心里觉得还早咧，她才不想这么早就走进婚姻的坟墓，

只是有时候经过公司楼下的银楼时，

她开始会去注意摆在展示柜里的钻戒，

并想象着哪一天她披上白纱戴上钻戒幸福的模样。

命运的戏剧性转折总是一再的发生，

上帝总是在通往幸福的道路上埋藏着地狱之火。


某日，他约她周末晚上出来吃饭，说重要的事情要跟她商量，

她问他说，有什么重要的事情吗？

他说，见了面再谈。

挂上电话，她开始猜想他会跟她谈什么事情，

他做事一向干净利落，很少像这样支支吾吾的。

她开始在上班时像掉了魂似的在座位上发呆，还打错好几份公文，

同事们都笑她快当新娘子了，所以做事才会这么心不在焉。

好不容易等到周末晚上，她仔仔细细的打扮自己，

还特地穿上他最喜欢的白色套装、洒上他最喜爱的CD香水，

带着兴奋愉快的心情去赴约。

那天晚上餐厅的气氛很好，柔和的灯光、轻快的音乐、精致的食物。

他们愉快的用餐，他从头到尾都没提到他找她商量什么事情，

只是跟她谈一些报上的新闻、公司的八卦及这几天他发生一些有趣的事情。

她也很聪慧的不去问他到底他找她要谈什么事情，


只是静静微笑看着他说话的样子，等他向她主动提起。

「嗯，有件事情我想跟妳商量。」
「什么事？」

「呃....我要结婚了。」

「什么？对不起，我有没有听错？是我们要结婚了 , 还是你要结婚了？」

「是....我要结婚了。」

他不安的低着头转动桌上的水杯，杯里的水摇晃的令她心慌意乱。

她脑袋「轰」的一声变成一片空白，

她不知所措的双手交迭十只手指头彼此扭绞着。

他说，在念书时他曾经跟一个女生交往，后来发生兵变，

因为那个女生嫌他没有经济基础又无法常常陪她，

所以就跟他分手，后来嫁给一个她父母替她相亲的对象，

他很爱她，为了她还差一点想不开做出伤害自己的事情。

他退伍后失去她的消息，只身上台北工作，然后在现在这个公司遇见了她。



他本来以为可以忘掉过去的伤痛，全心全意的爱着现在的这个她，

他本来都计划好了，当他跟她结婚后要去欧洲维也纳去听歌剧去共度蜜月，

他本来连喜饼要订伊莎贝尔，喜宴要订在福华饭店都想好了，

可是就在这个时候，过去的她出现在台北 , 出现在他的面前。

她向他诉苦说她的婚姻不幸福 , 已经离婚
她很后悔当初年轻不懂事 , 拒绝了他的爱情，

她问他是不是还是深爱着她，现在还愿不愿意娶她？

他开始迷惘 , 开始陷入前所未有的挣扎，

他还爱着过去的她，也爱着现在的她，

他原本以为在电视连续剧上才会出现的三角关系 , 竟然会发生在他身上，

一向做事不会拖泥带水的他 , 突然间不知道该怎么办，

他的思考模式开始当机，情绪开始牵着理智走，

他的生活变得一团混乱、日子过的一片昏暗。



现在的她虽然查觉到他的改变，但是仍然尊重他的隐私给予他空间跟自由，

然而过去的她却借着这个机会黏着他、依赖着他、最后跟他上了床发生了关系。

上个月，过去的她告诉他说她怀孕了。
为了未出世的孩子、也为了不再继续拖下去、错下去，

他决定跟过去的她结婚。

虽然他知道这个决定会伤害到现在的她，

但是，他还是只能够很抱歉? , 辜负了现在的她对他的爱情。

听完他说的故事，她很讶异她竟然会如此平静。

她用她自己都很讶异平静的语调跟他说，

「待会能不能陪我去逛街，买个我一直很想要的东西？」



我看着对面这个倔强的女子，很为她感到心疼难过。

都过去了，爱里的苦难折磨，一切都过去了。

都自由了，分手之后大家都自由了。

不管再怎么不情不愿不甘心不放手都已经唤不回早已逝去的变质了的爱情。

「那现在呢？」我问她。

「之后我就递出辞呈，随便找个借口就去英国游学，然后一待就是一个冬天。

你知不知道，在英国一个人的冬天是多么的冷？」

「那他呢？」

「他后来没有跟她结婚，听说那次是假性怀孕，他觉得她在欺骗他。

后来他们之间不知道发生什么问题，他没跟我说我也就没问。」

「那妳跟他之间还有可能复合吗？」

她突然沉默，低头玩弄着手上的戒指，

许久，她抬起头像是下了极大的勇气似的，用坚定的语气告诉我说：

「不了，我怕了。我的死党都说我很聪明，

懂得利用他对我的亏欠 , 拖他去为我买下这枚钻戒，

就算两人已经分手了，至少还捞到一点实质的回馈
可是，她们不知道的是，我心底早就认定他是我今生的唯一，

就算我们不结婚，我还是爱着他，比谁都爱他。

就是因为太爱他了，所以我不忍心看他痛苦，

当他提出分手时 , 我尊重了他的选择。

至少，一个人能够得到幸福 , 总比两个人都痛苦来的好；

至少，他愿意送我这枚戒指 , 去纪念我们曾经美好的过去；

至少，我跟他以后还会是好朋友，是不是？」
如果相见是一种缘份，那么分手是不是就是早就安排好的结局？

店里正播放林晓培以低沉的嗓音唱出「心动」这首歌曲，
一向坚强的她再也忍受不住难过的伏在桌上哭了起来。

她说：「虽然一直到现在我还是深爱着他。

可是，我不想再和他继续折磨彼此内心 , 考验双方勇气了。

我已经学会了，爱一个人只要静静的在他身边陪伴着他，

一丁点都不要占有，才能够长长久久的拥有他。

这样就好了，真的，至少我跟他曾经彼此相爱过，就足够了.


她眼底的泪光，像钻石般闪耀着自信的光彩，比她手指上的钻戒更教我尊敬。

我在心底默默的祝福她，能够平安，能够顺心，

能够有勇气早日再度相信爱情，再次去寻找属于她的幸福.....


放弃一个很爱你的人并不痛苦﹔放弃一个你很爱的人才痛苦...爱上一个不爱你的人 ﹐那是同样痛苦.

叶子的离开，是因为风的追求，还是树的不挽留。

　　“Cheese” – a metaphor for what we want to have in life, whether it is a job, a relationship, money, a big house, freedom, health, recognization, spiritual peace, or even an activity like jogging or golf.

　　Each of us has our own idea of what Cheese is, and we pursue it beacause we believe it makes us happy. If we get it, we often become attached to it. And if we lose it, or it's taken away, it can be traumatic.

　　Once, long ago, there lived 4 little characters who ran through a maze looking for cheese to nourish them & make them happy.

　　Two were mice named “Sniff” & “Scurry” and two were little people named “Hem ”& “Haw”.

　　Every morning, the mice & the little people duessed in their running gear & headed over to Cheese Station C where they found their own kind of cheese. It was a large store of Cheese that Hem & Haw eventually moved their homes to be closer to it & built a social life around it.

　　To make themselves feel more at home, Hem & Haw decorated the walls with sayings. One read: “Having Cheese Makes you Happy”.

　　Having Cheese Makes You Happy

　　One morning, Sniff & Scurry arrived at Cheese Station C & discovered there was no cheese.

　　They weren't surprised. Since they had noticed the supply of cheese had been getting smaller every day, they were prepared for the inevitable & knew instinctively what to do. They were quickly off in search of New Cheese.

　　Later the same day, Hem & Haw arrived. “What! No Cheese? Who moved my Cheese? It's not fair!”, Hem yelled. They went home that night hungry & discouraged. But before they left, Haw wrote on the wall:

　　The More Important Your Cheese Is To You, The More You Want To Hold Onto It.

　　The next day Hem & Haw left their homes & returned to Cheese Station C. But situation hadn't changed. Haw asked, “Where are Sniff & Scurry? Do you think they know something we don't?” Hem scoffed, “What would they know? They're just simple mice. They just respond to what happens. We're little people. We're smarter.”

　　Haw suggested, “Maybe we should stop analyzing the situation so much and just get going & find some New Cheese.”

　　Haw decided to leave Cheese Station C while Hem was more comfortable staying in the cheeseless Station C. Haw announced, “It's MAZE time!” and wrote:

　　If You Do Not Change,

　　You Can Become Extinct

　　Who Moved My Cheese?

　　Meanwhile, Sniff & Scurry went farther into the maze until they found Cheese Station N. They found what they had been looking for: a great supply of New Cheese. It was the biggest store of cheese the mice had ever seen.

　　Haw on the other hand became more anxious & wondered if he really wanted to go out into the Maze.

　　He wrote a saying on the wall ahead of him & stared at it for some time:

　　What Would You Do

　　If You Weren't Afraid?

　　Haw now realized that the change probably would not have taken him by surprise if he had been watching what was happening all along and if he had anticipated change. He stopped for a rest & wrote on the wall of the Maze:

　　Smell The Cheese Often

　　So You Know

　　When It Is Getting Old.

　　Haw wondered if Hem had moved on, or if he was still paralyzed by his own fears. Then, Haw remembered the times when he had felt his best in the Maze. It was when he was moving along. He wrote:

　　Movement In A New Direction Helps You Find New Cheese.

　　As Haw started running down the dark corridor, he began to smile. Haw didn't realize it yet, but he was discovering what nourished his soul. He was letting go & trusting what lay ahead for him, even though he did not know exactly what it was.

　　To his surprise, Haw started to enjoy himself more & more. He stopped to write again on the wall:

　　When You Move Beyond Your Fear,

　　You Feel Free.

　　Who Moved My Cheese?

　　To make things even better, Haw started to paint a picture in his mind again. He saw himself in great realistic detail, sitting in the middle of a pile of all his favorite cheeses –from Cheddar to Brie! He saw himself eating the many cheeses he liked, & he enjoyed what he saw.

　　The more clearly he saw the image of himself enjoying New Cheese, the more real & believable it became. He wrote:

　　Imagining Myself

　　Enjoying New Cheese,

　　Even Before I Find It,

　　Leads Me To It.

　　Haw wondered why he had always thought that a change would lead to something worse. Now he realized that change could lead to something better.

　　Then he raced through the Maze with greater strength & agility. Until he found bits of New Cheese.

　　He entered the Cheese Station but it was empty. Someone had already been there.

　　He stopped & wrote on the wall:

　　The Quicker You

　　Let Go Of Old Cheese,

　　The Sooner

　　You Find New Cheese.

　　Haw made his way back to Cheese Station C to offer Hem bits of New Cheese but was turned down. Hem wanted his own Cheese back. Haw just shook his head in disappointment but this did not stop him from finding New Cheese. He smiled as he realized:

　　It Is Safer

　　To Search In The Maze

　　Than Remain

　　In The Cheeseless Situation